My daughter was born capable of lifting her head. She started crawling around 4.5 months (commando crawling at first and really fast!). My take on this? She was 2.5 weeks overdue, 9Ib in weight and off-the-charts long (literally). Physically, she had a head start on your average newborn. Give it a few months and the rest will catch up and then it’s anyone’s guess. It’s too early to sign her up to MENSA.
I had never anticipated the curious feelings that your baby’s development arouses in you and, especially, other baby-mothers and fathers. I rarely comment (to anyone outside my family and close friends) on my daughter’s latest achievements. In stark contrast, I’ve lost count of how many comments I’ve fielded on how ‘advanced’ she is from other mums at a similar stage in their parenting career. I’ve found this weirdly difficult to handle. If I just say ‘thanks’, will I sound like one of those awful competitive mums who anticipates and then broadcasts every milestone? What I ended up doing was churlishly drawing attention to the skills she hadn’t yet mastered. Other mum: ‘Wow! She’s standing up already?!’ Me: ‘errr, yeah, but she can’t clap yet’. Idiot.
I remember visiting another couple’s house for a baby get-together (these sorts of occasions were possibly my least favourite part of Year One). My daughter commando-crawled at great speed towards this other dad: ‘Wow! She’s crawling already. You must be SO proud of her’. Well, yes… but no more than if she weren’t crawling yet. I’m proud of her unconditionally. As long as she’s well and happy, I don’t care when she hits her ‘milestones’ and I don’t have an accurate idea of when they’re supposed to be anyway. I have found the milestone obsession to be a creepy and uncomfortable part of new motherhood. Something I knew nothing about in my former life as a normal adult.
From the moment my daughter crawled almost every conversation I had about her with other parents and family members inevitably involved the question, ‘has she started walking yet?’ I mean, hang on! Can I just enjoy this crawling, giggly, curious baby for what she is? Who cares when she starts walking – again – as long as she’s fit and well?! I’m willing to bet that even her first ever CV for her first ever part-time job won’t list under ‘other skills’ – 01.09.15 Learned to walk, aged 11 months.
It was around 11 months when I took my daughter to a wedding and sat next to an old family friend who, as a fighter pilot, is literally a high flyer. He didn’t start walking until – I shit you not – he was 18 months old. I’m pretty sure his mum has finally dealt with the disappointment…